Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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