dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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