the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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