This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
