I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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