Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
