So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
