So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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