my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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