So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
