i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
