I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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