Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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