Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
