you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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