At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
