So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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