We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
