So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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