So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i came on her dog
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
