I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
