I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I lost the right to judge tonight
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
