we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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