just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
