i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
