i just wanna soil my oats bro
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The power of my boobs compel you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
