Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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