it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
