What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
