dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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