I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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