Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
