I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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