I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
so much tequila, so little girl.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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