She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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