Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
