i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
