So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
