return my video game
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
