what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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