Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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