The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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