Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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