LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
