Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
