You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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