I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
