I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
