Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
