we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
